My Party Pooper Rant on A-Day (sorry not sorry)

By Taylor Blasko

I’m not even on campus this year and I’ve never been more irritated with A-Day. Yea, you heard me — A-Day, the fair thing that occurs every April on DelVal’s campus. It’s supposed to be fun or something, but as I get older I get increasingly more irritated with the whole thing.

I remember my first year at DelVal. I thought A-Day was going to be a really exciting happening. I had attended A-Day before, as a senior in high school. I remember being amazed that an actual fair could take place on my future campus. Until I realized that there was really nothing to do. No rides. And everything costs an arm and a leg. Regardless, my first year of A-Day I was the “involved” type. I was vice-president of my class and I worked the stand that all freshmen historically got roped into working. And roped in I became. We had a Google doc signup sheet for all of the freshmen to volunteer some hours to work.  And I learned very quickly that if you leave things to a volunteer status, it means nobody is showing up. That meant that me and my best friend worked all damn weekend. On the bright side I was a professional at making funnel cakes and frying French fries to the perfect crisp (because I was bitched at one too many times by unhappy parents that their French fries weren’t the crispy type that they liked…sorry mom, I have on fryer, I am not a chef, these are the only type of fries I have on me, get over yourself).

But I digress…as everyone that lives on campus knows, preparations for A-Day begin about 500 months in advance…oh sorry that was a little over exaggerated, but seriously, every year I’ve been here it feels like they start setting things up earlier and earlier. And every time I see more power lines and box office booths plaguing my campus earlier in April, even in March this year, I get that gag-reflex of a response in my head where I yell, “Get off my lawn” and wave my fist in anger. Yes, I am an old lady at heart, clearly.

And so, the week of A-Day (the Monday-Thursday before it begins) is obviously when the most shit gets put on campus, when the most stuff is going on, and when the most buffoons come out to play. If you’ll recall in one of my previous blogs, you’ll know that I go for frequent walks at night around campus as well as off campus. Well let me tell you, the campus is usually deserted. But oh no, not during A-Day week. During A-Day week the campus is crawling with people, night and day. During the day the place looks like a real campus, people out on beach towels sunbathing in their bathing suites and listening to loud music…actually, it looks like a beach, not a college campus if you ask me. Like, we are in the middle of PA with no beaches in sight. Why are you wearing a swimsuit? Whatever, to each her own. Anyway….the nights are crawling with people as well. Whether it’s the screams and loud music you hear coming from the open dorm windows or the yells and questionable smells from the woods, there are people everywhereeee, is my  point.

Speaking of questionable smells, this year 4/20 fell on the Thursday before A-Day began. Oh god help us all. Wednesday night around midnight (therefore technically 4/20) as I was trying to enjoy a usual de-stressing walk around campus I noticed people’s voices coming from the woods. And to be more specific coming from the railroad tracks. This idiots were literally sitting on the train tracks lighting up. Train tracks. Wasted college students. Great combination I think, wouldn’t you say? At least the trains had stopped for the night, I guess, though I’m sure they weren’t thinking about that. But seriously, when I’m going on a nice leisurely walk and all of a sudden I hear loud, slurring speech it makes me want to yell, “Get off my lawn!!!!”

And as I said in the beginning, I write this blog in the comfort of my own home, an hour away from DelVal. Because yes, I’m an old grandma party pooper that felt the need to vacate campus so I didn’t have to deal with the rambunctiousness of A-Day this year. So I didn’t have to worry about being able to drive to the store and back and expect to find a parking space. So I didn’t have to worry about  my car getting towed or my tires getting slashed for being such a downer. And with that being said, I hope you’re all having fun. But I’ve grossly outgrown everything that is A-Day, and honestly everything that is DelVal…did I mention I’m graduating in three weeks? Get off my lawn, freshmen.

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