By: Anna Merezhko, March 3, 2017
“It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.”
I have grown to loathe this quote.
I hate the topic of emotions. I hate being called emotional and I hate when others are called emotional. It’s not typically a good thing. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard it be a good thing. Usually, if someone is emotional, they’re considered unstable. People tend to think showing emotions is either completely normal or completely not, but is there an in-between? How can others seem so unattached to the world that surrounds them and the people they meet? They almost seem callous.
I consider myself to be pretty emotional and I hate it. I’ve been trying to understand where that stems from. I have been trying to shut my emotions off when they become too overwhelming; when I feel too hurt. I’m not trying to say I have a magical “On/Off” switch. I simply leave a situation, physically or mentally, that is making me emotional. That may not be the healthiest thing, or the right thing, but it puts things into perspective really quickly. Once you get over the initial hurt and pain that you’ve self-inflicted, you are able to see the situation from someone else’s perspective.
How is it self-inflicted, you ask? You cause yourself pain by thinking the anger that another has placed on you has something to do with your worth, when in fact it has nothing to do with you.
How can we distance ourselves from that hurt? From the feelings they bring out? I think the secret lies in thinking about someone’s else’s hurt and not our own. What is causing them to act this way?
Maybe, just maybe, I can control my emotions and the actions they ensue? Maybe I need to stop acting like a toddler who doesn’t know how to control their feelings? Life will throw countless situations at me where I am going to have to be an adult and act professional whether a person is justly or unjustly biting my head off.
There’s no such thing as feeling things too deeply. You let them get to you and you drown yourself in your own misery. You let them make you feel worthless, while wiser people, understand their worth and quickly put their emotions in place.
Having emotions is not a bad thing. It is a dangerous thing because it can sway you to do things or say things you would not normally say. I think most of the things I’ve taken too close to heart stemmed from my own inability to see my worth. My most emotional moments had nothing to do with another person and everything to do with me. Had I believed more in myself, I would’ve recognized the world of hurt the other person was in and that they don’t mean what they say to me.
Yes, I have grown to loathe that quote. It implies that some people don’t feel pain as deeply, but everyone feels pain. We have no right to judge how much pain they are in. We can only hope to be the bigger person and recognize that there is something bigger than our emotions. Our emotions are not wild horses that cannot be tamed or broken. Our emotions should not be hidden from sight for the entirety of our lives but we should rule over them wisely. Our emotions can be controlled it’s just a matter of whether a person wants to control them.