By Taylor Blasko
I got the idea for this blog a few weeks ago…and I shall now execute. This will not be a normal blog. Beware. Keep your expectations low and it will help all of us.
Taylor: Why did you choose to come to DelVal?
myself: I didn’t, and yet I did. My friend showed me the place and I followed her. I swear I had looked the place up before she showed me. I went for myself. I went because I was scared of change. I went because I couldn’t move across the country as a big fuck you to my parents. I went because I’m a coward. And because well I really did like the program. Wildlife Management & Conservation —that’s what I’ve stood for all these years, as an advocate for animals that can’t advocate for themselves. Stop telling me it looks like I followed my friend —I didn’t.
Taylor: After four years, would you say you liked it here or not so much?
myself: I’d say I hate it. I’d say it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. And I wholeheartedly believe in both of those statements simultaneously. I never thought I’d be able to say that, let alone say it confidently. But I know those statements are contradictory and I know I believe in both. I’m not a hypocrite. But I mean I’m a hypocrite, we all are. Shit’s complicated. DelVal taught me that shit is complicated. Maybe I did follow my friend. My mind four years ago wasn’t this agile or flexible. I didn’t know me. But I know now I didn’t follow her.
Taylor: You came here as a Wildlife Major, what inspired you to pick up a dual major in English Literature?
myself: Inspiration I think is the wrong word. It makes it sound brilliant. Or smart. Or like a good idea. Justified. An act of bravery. Or an act of knowing oneself. I didn’t know myself when I decided to double major. I’m not sure I even do now. I wasn’t inspired. I was pushed. Pushed into a world I knew existed and chose to ignore until the moment I stepped foot into my College Writing I class. My first class of college. I will reiterate —shit is complicated. And I discovered that no sooner than the first day of my first class of college when I was thrown in and thrashing and flailing I wrote my first paper for that class. It was 11 pages long, it only needed to be 2.
Taylor: Where do you see the intersection of your majors? What are your career goals? How will you use both majors?
myself: To be honest, I don’t know if I will, not directly anyway. Why does everyone assume I need to combine my majors and be a journalist for National Geographic. Do you know how hard and how much experience you need to work for National Geographic? Do you understand that I don’t even like journalism? Do you understand that I couldn’t even grow the balls to interview someone besides myself for this interview blog? How do you think I could write for National Geographic, I’m grossly under qualified. So much so that I disgust myself in every way. I’m not a journalist. I’m not even a writer I don’t think. I’m a person merely trying to find myself through fumbling through compiling sentences into paragraphs. I can’t write anymore than your average Joe. I merely think, on paper. I use the term “writing” to mean thinking. That’s all. If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that. How can I advocate for the animals in National Geographic if I’m not even a writer?
Taylor: Any closing words?
myself: No. Yes. Why does everybody view education as a portal to a job. Just because I have a degree — I will have a degree in a few months —doesn’t make me any more qualified for anything. It shows that I sat through the classes and I did the school work. Maybe some of us are just good at that. No one said I was good at jobs, or having a job. No way. I go to class because I enjoy it. The minute I stop enjoying it I don’t go. I’m not a good student, I’m just curious. I’m an academic, I guess, if we want to call it that. I didn’t dual major because I thought it would get me further in life. I dual majored because I thought it would allow me to think more and find myself.
As I sit here writing this blog, literally switching proverbial seats as I ask myself questions and type…I am lost…