By Taylor Blasko
Why do they lie to you? In your senior year of high school they tell you to apply for all the scholarships. Apply even if you don’t feel you exactly fit the criteria. Apply to all the colleges and universities, even the ones you don’t think you’ll get into or don’t really want to go to. Just apply. Apply because it can’t hurt (Wait it can’t hurt what? Have you heard of application fees? Cuz yea, that can hurt a wallet). Apply because I am your parent and I am being gracious enough to pay for those application fees and because I want you to succeed and because, because, beca —
And they tell you it’s because this is the first and last time you will ever have to go through this process. Do you all remember that god awful process? It was laden with long nights of internet browsing. Where can I find the scholarships, which schools have the program I want…on second thought, what program DO I want? Because I remember that all too well…
I would wake up at 6am, walk through the front door of my school by 7:10am, go to work after school until 9:30pm, get home by 10pm where I would proceed to stuff my face with leftover dinner, shower, and then, only then, would I start to do my homework and go through this agonizing process of applying for college by 11pm every night. Lack of sleep persisted and I did this for five days a week consistently. It’s no wonder I literally slept all weekend. Teenagers gotta sleep when they’re dealing with that shit. I was that kid that literally slept until 4pm, maybe later, everyday of the weekend. I was exhausted.
And it was my senior year of high school and all I could think is I want out. I want out of my high school. I want out of this routine. I want out of this deadbeat job. I want out of this house. I want out of this stale and exhausting life. In short, here I am, a senior at DelVal, and I’m not sure I ever got out.
Granted, I don’t work as much as I did in high school, I don’t have to wake up as early…but I do stay up even later, have just as much work, and stuff my face with greasy, unhealthy food at odd times of the night/early morning. Basically I never escaped because as a senior in undergrad, guess what process has come back to haunt me? COLLEGE APPLICATION TIME. Please just stab me.
I am applying for grad school and it’s everything I was told, time and time again, four years ago, that I would never have to worry about again. Why was it all such a lie? Yes, I’m bitter. This blog might be a bit late, since really the main hell of all of that is in the Fall semester. It being Spring semester now, I can relax a little more…I mean…really I should still be looking up scholarships galore and I still have to apply for some grad assistantships so really the agony never ends.
But my main stress about this is that now I’m playing that ever-dreaded waiting game. I don’t even want to know if I got in honestly. Like PSA to all colleges I applied to: Just don’t tell me. Please.