An Open Letter to my Newly Divorced Mother

This is my attempt at getting out the words I have no idea how to actually say. I know that divorce rates are rising in our country, and that more and more of us college kids are finding themselves having to go home and spend their times divided between two parents, not seeing one at all, or avoiding both. Not every one of us is going to share the same story, and all relationships end in different circumstances. But here is a letter to my mother, who recently divorced on my father, her partner for 31 years of her life. They split kind of amicably, and now things are calm enough to talk about more. If you find yourself in a situation where words fail you, write them down first. Take those streams of consciousness and make sense of it, then think about talking to this person. Some conversations will always be difficult to have. Do not lose heart. But here goes.

Hey mama.

You are my rock and one of my most favorite people on this crappy planet. Your strength and bravery inspires me every single day. I know it took a lot for you to finally leave dad. When you are with someone for so long, it is hard to imagine life without them.

I know this whole situation was so unbelievably difficult for you. Do not beat yourself up over it. Your children just want so desperately for you to be happy. We will support you no matter what, and will always adore you. I am sad that it took you and dad so long to fully figure out that you were not meant to be together.

I have learned so much from you, and even though I wish my parents were still together and in love, I would much rather have them separated and happy with their perspective lives.

It was weird for me to have to be your rock and one of your main supporters at only 20 years old. I did not like it. But I never told you that because I wanted you to be happy. I am sure you would not be too thrilled to learn that piece of information. It is weird being your mother’s confidant. It was so hard for me to see you in that fragile of a state. My role model, someone who “wore the pants”, took charge of every situation, the one who knew the answer to every question, was shaken to her very core.

I never want to see you in that kind of pain again. There is someone out there that can make your life infinitely better, but just relax and wait for that man to come. I do not agree with your opinion, and let you know it all the time, that finding a man who loves you is what will make your life complete. Be happy on your own. Then if fate allows it, find that awesome man. I will support you regardless. But your life does not depend on being in a relationship, which is hard for me to say, as you have been with the same man for longer than I have been alive. Don’t lose faith, and stay true to your awesome self. Everything will work out how it is supposed to.

Thank you for never being my best friend, but my role model instead. You have taught me so much that I could never thank you enough. Because of you I love without bounds, I am caring, I put everyone before myself. You are a true testament to what a genuine good person looks like, no matter how much you disagree, and I am so proud of you for all that you have accomplished this past year. Stay strong and be yourself.

Love always.

XOXO

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