I once had a mentor who told me that long distance relationships will never work out. At the time, he didn’t realize that I was in a relationship that was about to be long distance. As we sat there I got more and more anxious about the coming months and what they would bring. This isn’t some sappy blog about love conquering all. That mentor of mine was absolutely right about one thing: long distance sucks and it’s really hard. You are more apt to fight with your SO because things can easily be misconstrued via text and it’s easier to remain in a fight because you can just put down your phone and walk away, they aren’t standing right there. So clearly, this isn’t a sappy love blog. I wanted to write this because there are some benefits to long distance and as my fellow classmates and I end our time at DelVal, I feel like it’s important to share these. I want to note however, before delving into my reasons that long distance is ok that my relationship did not start out long distance and that definitely skews my point of view. However, I think these points can still be relevant to anyone who is doing long-distance.
- It makes seeing each other so much better. I used to see my boyfriend every day. That meant that doing things together wasn’t as exciting because it became the norm. Since we started being long distance, every time together is very exciting and we try to make the most of it. It also encourages you to not fight as much when together because you want time together to be good time. I’ve seen other friends get annoyed when their significant other ignores them or ditches them for their friends and I realize that I have that problem a lot less now because time together is special.
- This point is specifically for college students, you spend a lot less money on each other. When my bf and I both went to the same school, we went out to eat all the time. Also, when you’re together a lot, you try to find new things to do together to keep the relationship exciting. When you’re apart a lot, being together really is all you want. Stay in movie nights and spending hours in the same space studying or reading is the best thing in the world because you’re able to be next to them. Forget weekly dinner dates and trips to the movies, having time alone to talk and catch up is the new thing to do.
- If you only see your significant other ever month or so, it really gives you something to look forward to. My summer went by so fast because every day was a countdown to the next time I got to see my bf. You can occupy your mind with planning what you’ll do and hyping yourself up so that the days don’t seem to lag as much.
- Speaking of planning, being long distance really makes you assess your relationship. If the person isn’t there physically, it tests whether or not you are compatible emotionally. This may sound corny but hear me out, if you get bored of your relationship while they’re not around, why would you continue to put effort into it. Losing interest is a huge red flag and should lead to a discussion about your plans for the future. On the flip side, if you remain interested by them and continue to enjoy their presence in your life, then it’s a good indication that it could work in the long haul.
Like I said this isn’t meant to be just a sappy love piece. There are definitely trade-offs to long distance dating. Other than the aforementioned fighting via text, it makes your days drag. If you get to see each other on weekends, Wednesdays are the worst. You feel like you’re so far from seeing them and it really kills the mood for the day. If you’re less fortunate, and only see them once a month or every few months, it can be even more killer, but like I said in my third point, it gives you something to look forward to.
Nothing replaces having someone physically with you especially when you need a shoulder to lean on. But if long distance is something that is temporary and you are able to make plans to be physically together in the future, the time apart may actually be a blessing.