An Open Letter to the “Real World”

Dear “Real World”,

I know I’ve been staring down my calendar this whole semester, counting down the days until I meet you. During that time, I’ve had multiple mental breakdowns, last minute assignments that barely made it in in time for the deadline, and people asking me what I’m going to do when I meet you. I always say the same thing, ” I have no idea.” I’ve heard a lot of bad things about you. From the sound of it, you sound like kind of an asshole to be honest. You tend to kick people when they’re down, take money out of their paycheck to keep it for your own, and make it hard for people to enjoy what they do. It seems that, ever since you’ve entered people’s lives, they blame everything bad that has happened to them on you. I find all this to be hard to believe. I mean, you cant be that bad of a person right?…………..right?

I wanted to write you this letter to tell you, despite all the bad things I’ve heard about you, that I’m actually excited to meet you. Are you surprised? You see, I’m the type of person that doesn’t go off of hearsay, or rumors. I want to give you a fair chance. A chance to be friends, if that isn’t too much to ask. Because you see, I’ve also heard that you help people who help themselves, or work hard. I like to think of myself as a hard worker, but then again, so do lazy people. I’m excited to get my chance at meeting you,  and getting to know you. Hell if you’re up to it, we should do lunch after my graduation. Don’t worry, I’ll cover the tab because I’ve heard from the people I work with at at the restaurant that if you’re having a bad day, you tend to not leave a tip. So don’t worry, my treat.

I do have one favor to ask of you before we meet. Could you maybe, possibly, perhaps get me a job? I’ve worked really hard in school and it would be really awesome if you could help me with that. Don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to take care of my student loans, I can take care of that. Oh, and at my graduation, would you mind if I introduced you to my little brother? He insists that you don’t exist.

See you soon!

Sincerely, your good friend ( maybe?)


P.S Could you pull something off so that Trump drops out of the presidential race? Thanks!


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